Doubt is not the opposite of faith;
It is one element of faith.
Paul Tillich

Jesus cannot forget us;
we have been graven on the palms of his hands.
(Lois Picillo)

we put together two strange concepts: Alleluia! Meaning God be praised,
and Christ our Passover is sacrificed for us.
Hail, Lord, for the great sacrifice.
It seems incongruent - as though we should mourn at the sacrifice of Christ, and yet our own liturgy reminds us to rejoice, for
In the crucified one, we find LIFE
Resurrection in our future,
And new life each day we are on this earth.
Life lived in the palm of his nail-pierced hand,
Life in which we have the opportunity to draw ever closer to that pierced side, draw ever closer to the wounded one.

Discernment of the crucified one as their lord went along with receiving the Holy spirit -
To have HS, one must see the crucified? Perceive the crucified.
There is still a cross in easter.

Thomas -
A week after easter, -
What do you do when easter passes you by?
The joy of resurrection is missed
Realities of life intrude, and even tho people around you are excited, you miss it all -
You look and see disillusionment, disappointment, doubt.
You take on a more cynical approach to life - fool me once shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me - not wanting to be fooled again, you still yourself and think only in terms of reality, rather than possiblilty. Reality one can face with firm jaw and steady step; possibility gone wrong is more than you can take right now.

So the disciples come and say, "We have seen the Lord," but you have not. You have only seen disciples hiding in a room for fear of the authorities. You have only seen yourself and all the others desert the master in his hour of need. You have only seen the disillusionment and confusion upon the faces of those who followed Jesus, and now walk the streets of the city in a daze. You can only see your own doubts and disillusionment. You don't have space in your heart, or your soul for fancy sightings which will most likely turn to disappointment.

So you cryptically end the conversation. "Unless I actually see the marks - no, not just see them, but feel them, I won't believe." You figure that is the end of the story. The disciples may whisper around you, wondering how to convince you; you don't care. A door has closed that in your mind cannot be opened, and the next thing on the agenda is to get your life back. The disciples can go wait for Jesus in the upper room, or in Galilee, or wherever the latest thought has come; you are going on with the business of being Thomas.

And so it is, in your doubt and disillusionment that you are in the upper room one week after Easter, after living a hellish week after Jesus' death, and your expectations are so low, you find yourself relaxing with the disciples, your friends and companions for the last three years, listening to their drivel about the risen Christ, wondering how long you can put up with this nonsense,

Some of us embrace the joy of Resurrection as quickly as we embrace whatever favorite thing we gave up for Lent. We pour ourselves that glass of wine and give thanks for the new life in Christ, looking forward to seeing resurrection in all that is around us - in our newly returned school children, in the beauty of the easter services, in the springtime around us, and in the new insights we have hopefully gained during lent.

But for some of us, after the Easter services are over, and the flowers have been disbursed, Monday is just another day of worry, or doubt, or discouragement. The economy has not, after all, changed for the better after Easter. Elderly family members may still be sick, friends still dying of cancer, children still going through the painful process of growing up. And one week after Easter, we wonder what the big deal is. Is Easter after all just a construct of the church, as Lent is? A time to remember events long past that have little or no effect in our 21st century lives?

So it seems at times - and so it seemed to Thomas. Called the doubter, his doubts were no greater than those of his companions. They too had to be shown the nail marks before they recognized the Lord in their midst. But Thomas came to that revelation late, having had to live with the suffering of this present world before he was able to recognize Jesus in front of him.

There are times when, rather than recognizing Jesus in resurrection, we find him in suffering. We look around us at those who are near and dear; we find ourselves empathizing with what they go through, and we take their suffering upon ourselves, as Jesus took ours upon himself. At those times, it is in the wounds of Christ that we find our consolation. For with those wounds he draws us near. He draws us toward himself, to embrace the cross, to touch him in his woundedness, that we might understand the fellowship of his suffering.