Awake, my soul, and with the sun,
Thy daily stage of duty run;
Shake off dull sloth, and joyful rise
To pay thy morning sacrifice.

Lord, I my vows to thee renew;
Disperse my sins as morning dew;
Guard my first springs of thought and will,
And with thyself my spirit fill.

Direct, control, suggest, this day,
All I design to do or say;
That all my pow’rs, with all their might,
In thy sole glory may unite.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow;
Praise him, all creatures here below;
Praise him above, ye heavenly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
- Thomas Ken

Waiting by the River

In our hometown in California, we were fortunate to have one the largest municipal parks in the country. General John Bidwell, a California pioneer, left the majority of his estate to the city of Chico. Now named Bidwell Park, the area includes both vast savanna filled with plateaus, and wooded areas through which the creek runs.

Often our family would go picnic by the creek, enjoying one of the cooler spots in Chico, which often has temperatures above 110 degrees in the summertime.

I was reminded of this place by the creek this morning as I sat with many women of our parish at a retreat at Anne Bricker’s house. Debra Barton was leading us in a meditation about Jacob wrestling with an angel at the river Jabbok. I found myself thinking of this spot where I would often sit, with the peaceful, cool creek running by, away from cars and responsibilities – an oasis of rest in a too-busy life.

One of the questions Debra asked this morning during our meditation was, “what is holding you back?” What is holding you back from going forward in God’s plan for your life? What are you wrestling with, that is keeping you from moving toward your goal of oneness with Christ?

As I sat there with my mind and heart next to that creek, it seemed to me that the one thing which most often holds us back from taking the next step in any endeavor, is fear. Some of us fear what we don’t know, and want to stay with what is familiar. Some of us fear what we know! We wish we could be someone else, or somewhere else, but God is calling us to be present here and now. Some of us fear failure, or the expectations of others. Many of us fear loss, in its many forms.

This second week of Easter, we have another opportunity to reach toward that abundant life promised us through the resurrection; a life lived in the fullness of knowing Christ and making him known. What is holding you back from taking the next step? Are you ready to wrestle with that fear, or better yet, let it go so that the blessing of God can come? I hope that you, like me, will find the chance to sit by the river this week. Whether real or imagined, may your sojourn at the river be a time of refreshment as you listen to God’s voice calling you nearer.

Prayer of Abandonment

Father, I abandon myself
Into your hands
Do with me what you will,
Whatever you do, I will thank you,
I am ready for all, I accept all.
Let only your will be done in me,
As in all your creatures,
And I’ll ask nothing else, my Lord.

Into your hands I commend my spirit;
I give it to you
With all the love of my heart,
For I love you, Lord,
And so need to give myself,
To surrender myself into your hands
With a trust beyond all measure,
Because you are my Father.
- Charles de Foucauld

Debra’s Midweek Meditation

"Thus it is written, that the Messiah is to suffer and to rise from the dead on the third day, and that repentance and forgiveness of sins is to be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things."
Luke 24:46-48

Jesus tells his disciples that the promises which were made during his lifetime are coming true in his Resurrection.
The disciples, however, are afraid and confused. When Jesus says, "Peace be with you," they begin to listen.
They do not believe it is Jesus simply because He is standing in front of them.
They do not recognize Him.
Their understanding and recognition of Jesus must undergo a shift. He is not enfleshed as they had experienced before-instead, He is free and changing and getting ready to be with them in a whole new way.

How can we explain the Resurrected Christ?
We may only come close to it by coming at it slantwise.

Consider the rosebud. It is certainly beautiful in its streamlined shape, and yet it takes faith to understand the rosebud's destiny to become a fragrant, colorful blooming rose.
Each day of sunshine brings the rose closer to its peak. If I watch it moving toward perfection, I may forget altogether the bud from which it began.

Disciples, then and now, must suspend disbelief in order to see Christ.
We must watch and listen, keeping a continual closeness to the movements of the Spirit.
There is joy, unspeakable, in waiting for the rose to bloom--how much more joy is there for those who wait on the Lord.
Blessings,
Debra

You, O eternal Trinity,
Are a deep sea into which,
The more I enter, the more I find;
And the more I find, the more I seek.
O abyss,
O eternal Godhead,
O sea profound,
What more could you give me than yourself?
- St. Catherine of Sienna

Daily Morning Prayer
http://www.episcopalchurchingarrettcounty.org/morning_prayer.htm

Prayer is the mother and daughter of tears.
It is an expiation of sin,
A bridge across temptation,
A bulwark against affliction.
It wipes out conflict,
Is the work of angels,
And is the nourishment of everything spiritual.

This week at St. James
Saturday 10:30 – 3:00 Women’s Retreat at St. James
Sunday: 10:15 Daughters of the King Induction; Noon Annual Meeting
Monday: SJA Testing Week
Tuesday: 7:30 Vestry Admin. Meeting

Prayers Etc.
For our seminarian Laura as she prepares for finals and completes her first year.

For those who are deployed and their families

Anna; Nancy; Tony; Joel; Arabella; Brian E.
Tamara; Owen Kent; Jeffrey; Brittany; Jason
David; Bill; Debbie; Lovisah; Leib & Carlyn
Jewell; Keith; Sue; Ron; Cathy; Jack
Alice; Bart; Justin; Bernie; Jan; Nancy
Betsey; Hannah; Bill; Gavin; Brian; Lilly
Adam Loos; Patricia Dayton; Anna B.; Belinda; Sally
Donovan; Paul R.; Lee; Simon W.; Haley L.; Philip
Mary Jane; Rev. Pat Underwood; The Clayton Family

In Closing:

God, who touches earth with beauty,
May my heart anew;
With thy Spirit recreate me,
Pure and strong and true

Like thy springs and running waters
Make me crystal pure;
Like thy rocks of towering grandeur,
Make me strong and sure.

Like the dancing waves in sunlight,
Make me glad and free;
Like the straightness of the pine trees,
Let me upright be.
- Mary S. Edgar

Pax et Bonum,
Loree+

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